You've been given serious, rational explanations. But you don't seem to understand what it means to have strong boundaries.
Agreed. This seems like such a simple problem to solve (to me), especially with so many options where they live. He likes meat. She likes fish. Wasn't "surf n' turf" created specifically for couples like this?If I recall correctly, the OP is very traditional in this area and doesn't believe in spending money herself until marriage. Personally, the concept of Person A decides while Person B pays rubs me the wrong way (outside of special occasions, of course).
If I reimburse monthly by paying small amount at a time I don't know how it would work. What plan would work better? Reimbursing all at once or reimbursing little by little on a monthly basis?
Thank you for the response. Sorry about that vague description of my problem, I tried to be brief and hit the recent events. As for the ex husband, there is no chance of them getting back together. He walked out on her while she was pregnant with her second child. The divorce was final over 8 months before we went out. The husband lives in a different state and has only recently shown interest in the children to a certain point. He wants more visitation rights but when he does get them, he pushes them off on his mother and goes out to party. The only interest in them is for a tax reduction. Sorry if that sounds cruel but it is true. As for her children, they have always depended upon her from the get go. The father wasn't and hasn't been involved in any aspect of their upbringing. I understand that I was and still am new to them. They have always been used to Mom help me,,, mom do this,, mom do that. I have reached out to them as much as possible, but it is still,, mom. I understand that it takes time. The oldest is 7 and is a loner type. the youngest is 3 and is very attached to her. I understand that they can be jealous of the time that I spend with her, for the most part, I was the only man that she allowed to get close to them. I knew that they liked me, but I just never knew how much. I tried different hobbies with them but with my career, it was difficult to get in. Most of the time, I got there after dark so we couldn't do anything outdoors. As for the financial end of the relationship. She has always wanted to be independent. We did split things but it was pretty much a combined effort. As for the cruise, I paid for it almost seven months before but she was determined to pay her own way. She did,,,, over a period of a few weeks, she paid me her share. She also got very upset if I refused to take her money. She has a good job and is financially independent. She has been that way before I met her. She had talked about marriage VERY early in the relationship. I am an old fashioned type and wanted to take things slowly and get to know each other first. I told her many times that it was not backing out or scared of committment, there just has to be some issue resolving. One, we did not live together, we live about an hour apart. She rents a townhouse in the city but wants to buy a house. I just finished building a new house on my land that I had owned. My house is big enough to move her entire family into. But because of school districts, her kids, and wanting to be close to her family, she does not want to live here. She was and still is looking for a house, I told her that I need to resolve my situation, I am on a mortgage on a new house and what do I do with it. I can't just pack up and go. The other thing is that I am a business owner. My electronics shop and warehouse is here and how do I move all of that there. These are just some issues that needed resolved. I mentioned to her many times, I am not stalling, I just have to figure out what to do with my prior house and business.
middle and right.
Let's see, my name is Steph and I love playing softball, I enjoy hanging out with friends and family and my pups! I don't like to sit still so I like to go on random adventures and then at the end of.
Looks Waaayyyy too young
Hi. I am Doc. Been separated for 12 year.
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